Gifts From The Child Within
This book was a labor of love. It contains much of my life's work while practicing psychospiritual counseling for those whose journey brought them to my office. Gifts From the Child Within will always be a book close to my heart for in it are unique stories of lives in recovery. All the experiences related in this book are true, the names have been altered to protect the anonymity of those who shared their stories. As I shared my own childhood story of abuse, my life became intertwined with those who entrusted their stories with me. It is a book of healing and of reclaiming self-empowerment. As author and spiritual teacher Dr. Joan Borysenko wrote so graciously for the cover:
Gifts From the Child Within is more than a well-written, well-researched guide to recovery from our childhood wounds. It is an exciting adventure in psychospiritual growth based on inner wisdom exercises that are a powerful addition to the archives of healing.
Allow yourself the gift of reading this warm guiding book and touch the magic of your own child within. The format of this workbook includes Affirmations, Exercises, Autohypnosis or Visualizations, and several blank pages at the end of each Chapter for Journaling. Again, the brilliant cover art was provided by my sister, Paula Slater. (www.paulaslater.com) The young girl who posed for the artwork is my daughter when she was ten years old. I actually have this large colorful oil painting hanging in my home.
Gifts From the Child Within contains eleven Chapters and a heartfelt Foreword by a dear friend Dr. Lavona Stillman. My book was fully blessed when she touched it with her caring and sensitive words, "….Barbara has shown us how to get in touch with and love our child within; release negative emotions; re-create childhood beliefs and experiences; and to look further, in recognition of all the gifts the child within has for those of us who have the courage and wisdom to look within."
Click on Dr. Sinor's picture (left) to listen to a "teaser" of her reading
an excerpt of
Gifts From the Child Within.
The
following is the latest Review for this new Second Edition
Reviewed by Elizabeth E.Gibson-Evans for RebeccasReads (2/08) At the bottom of this page is a podcast audio of me reading parts of the beginnings of this healing book. Just click on the start button and enjoy.
“Gifts from The Child Within” is a very refreshing and thorough book written for survivors of abuse, counselors, and those just trying to understand family and friends who are victims or survivors. Sinor, with her own personal experience and excellent skill in writing, makes you feel as if you are taking a journey through yourself with self-discovery as well as healing. She has written this book in a workbook form as well to aide the reader through this journey of discovery and healing smoothly and responsibly. She makes the reader work through their own abusive memories of childhood by reading and noting steps for healing in one very easy unique transition. In “Gifts from The Child Within,” you are not only re-living the traumatic aspect of your childhood, it is done in a way that you are able to understand many feelings and issues that you may not have been aware of in your life today on a daily basis.
For my own experience or journey through this workbook, it was like an awakening into the very soul of my being. I not only learned of things or actions in my daily life today, I was able to understand where “they” came from and why, as well as understood these in a new light. As well, I myself have learned the techniques that Sinor suggests, explains, and walks you through. This book is a very handy tool for anyone who has suffered any kind of childhood abuse, be it physically or emotionally as they both set very deep scars within ourselves that at times cause us to act or re-act in childish ways with or without a conscious awareness. This workbook will awaken you to your own child within and teaches you how to become aware of when he or she is acting out, or up, in a situation. You learn to reel-in that child and teach him, or her, a more responsible way to act or re-act by learning to change the outcome of those abusive memories into positive memories either by a self-hypnotic state and/or The Process of Re-Creation Therapy.
I recommend “Gifts from The Child Within” to anyone who has been abused in their childhood, friends and family of those abused, counselors, therapists and the like who desire to learn, understand and aide one through their journey and enlightenment. It is surely one you will not forget; in truth, though the tools you learn you would not wish to forget as they walk you through victim to “The Present and Beyond” safely and with forgiveness and a self-knowledge. It will enable you to watch and control how one acts and re-acts in many situations throughout life with relationships, work, school and just daily emotions that come up. Thank you Barbara Sinor for this wonderful workbook and the smooth understandable read, as it is not filled with technical terms but with understanding, sincerity and a desire to help all of us that share this walk.
Interview for Gifts From the Child Within
by Barbara Sinor, Ph.D.
Today, Tyler R. Tichelaar of Reader Views is pleased to be joined by Dr. Barbara Sinor who is here to talk about her book Gifts from the Child Within.
Dr. Sinor has maintained a private counseling practice for over twenty-five years. She counsels individuals exploring the healing and recovery of Addictions, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, childhood abuse/incest, adult children of alcoholics, and codependent/self-esteem issues. Dr. Sinor’s first book, coauthored with her sister Paula Slater is Beyond Words: A Lexicon of Metaphysical Thought which was written right after they received their Master of Arts degrees together. Sinor’s second book is Gifts From the Child Within which is a recovery workbook written for both survivors of childhood abuse or trauma of any kind and the counselors that work with this population. This is the book we will be exploring today.
In 2003, Dr. Sinor wrote a follow-up book titled An Inspirational Guide for the Recovering Soul. This inspirational book is a companion guidebook for further growth and understanding of the personal healing and recovery process that can be used by anyone dealing with past or present trauma. More recently in 2007, Dr. Sinor completed a manuscript coauthored with Deborah McCloskey entitled What’s Really Going On? Questioning Our View of Addiction. Currently, she is working on her fifth book Tales of Addiction which documents personal stories from those who have been or are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, or those whose life has been affected by addiction through friends and family.
Dr. Sinor received her Doctorate in Psychology at the Southern California University for Professional Studies in 1997. She received her Master of Arts degree in John F. Kennedy University’s Graduate School for the Study of Human Consciousness majoring in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology. She graduated with honors from Pitzer College receiving her Bachelor of Arts degree with a double major in Sociology and Women’s Studies and she has been a clinical hypnotherapist since 1987.
Tyler: Welcome, Barbara. I’m honored to have you join me today. Will you begin by telling me why you chose to write Gifts From the Child Within?
After several years of counseling individuals in my practice, I noticed a common theme in a large percentage of my clients. The issue of childhood trauma kept showing itself as the underlying concern and ultimately became the focus of treatment. When I began introducing a healing hypnosis technique I called Re-Creation Therapy to my counseling methodology, my clients responded with a positive recovery. I then decided to capture many of these healing stories and introduce my efforts and my clients’ experiences in a book.
Tyler: Barbara, your book is really about inner child therapy. Will you explain to our readers a little bit about what inner child therapy is and how it can be effective?
The concept of the inner child is not new by any means. Both Carl Jung and Eric Berne, two noted therapists, sited in their work this motif of the inner child. In the 1980s, Charles Whitfield and many others drew much acclaim by “introducing” the child within personality in us all. Basically, inner child therapy addresses the issues surrounding negative childhood trauma.
Because of my own personal background of dealing with childhood trauma, I experimented with several types of inner child therapy but found most left me feeling empty. When working with your child within there is a necessary step of releasing anger, sometimes repressed anger, and negative feelings associated with traumatic events. What the techniques of Re-Creation Therapy provide is a way of re-framing or re-creating the trauma so the emptiness becomes a pathway to healing and recovery.
Tyler: Barbara, I know you are also concerned with codependent and self-esteem issues. Will you explain a little bit about what codependency is—I understand it is often developed in childhood but can result in sabotaging adult relationships?
In the Chapter of the book, “Codependency -- Take Two” I tell of my experience of trying to tell my codependent mother what the term means. I tried using phases such as, “too dependent on her husband” and “not caring enough about herself.” Finally, I looked at her and said softly, “Mom, it just means that you cared so much for Daddy that somewhere along the way you lost yourself.” Yes, most likely a tendency toward codependent behavior begins in childhood, I know mine did! I still struggle with issues of always putting others before myself -- which is a good working definition of the word.
Tyler: Gifts From the Child Within is a workbook. Why is a workbook helpful as a supplement to therapy or a twelve-step meeting?
I made this book in a “workbook” format because while working with clients I used many techniques and methods which requires notepaper and pads, crayons and pens, journals, craft and art supplies, CDs and cassette tapes, and other items used for self-awareness and rituals. Within the book the reader can find Exercises, Affirmations, Visualizations, Child Within Autohypnoses, suggested reading, writing, and audio practices. I wanted the reader of this book to experience as much as possible the types of healing methods my private clients were exposed to.
Tyler: I understand you outlined seven key steps in the process of inner child therapy. Will you tell us a bit more about that process and why it is important?
Re-Creation therapy contains these healing steps:
Acknowledgment of a situation, event, or emotion which may stem from childhood
Self-awareness in relation to your past childhood trauma
Meeting your child within--perhaps for the first time--the inner spiritual or true Self
Emotional release exercises relating to the childhood trauma
The Re-Creation Process of re-creating or re-framing the traumatic event(s)
Allowing a sense of forgiveness to enter where possible
Letting go of the past--giving the emotion of past experiences over to a Higher Power
Tyler: Barbara, I mentioned you are a certified clinical hypnotherapist. Do you use hypnotism to help people remember past childhood experiences?
I feel it important to note that hypnosis is just one of the many techniques I have utilized in my counseling practice. Gifts From the Child Within is certainly based on the use of autohypnosis or self-hypnosis and works successfully in obtaining a more clear remembrance of any past experience. All of my clients have had some memory of their negative trauma, whether through a visual or auditory recollection. Hypnosis cannot make a person remember an event that has not occurred.
Tyler: Barbara, there are lots of helpful books out there for people recovering from childhood trauma or addiction. What sets Gifts From the Child Within apart from all the other self-help books available?
I believe the fact that this book can be used alone or in conjunction with therapy is a big plus. I have had many professional counselors ask for details on how they might use this workbook for their clients. My use of real personal stories from my clients’ experiences is also an added factor in helping the reader identify their circumstances and/or woundedness with those found in the book. It is a book which introduces a transpersonal aspect or spiritual element to the recovery arena which is not found in most self-help books. In my Afterword I discuss my research doctoral thesis surrounding the use of transpersonal or psychospiritual methodologies when used in women who have experienced childhood abuse/incest. The type of counseling techniques used in this book were found “to be advantageous to the survivor’s recovery process.” In this light, Gifts From the Child Within brings a unique sense of support and healing to its reader while at the same time instructs taking the challenge to begin the recovery journey.
Tyler: Barbara, you’ve also used some of your own personal experiences as examples in the book. What made you decide to take this courageous step and reveal so much of yourself?
Well, I remember talking to many people during my early counseling days who wanted to tell someone about their horrible childhood experiences and how they felt it had affected their life but felt they could not trust a therapist because “they would not understand” what they had gone through. Because I do understand, I found it an honor to share my own childhood trauma with those who had the courage to begin sharing their stories with me.
Tyler: Thank you, Barbara, for joining me today.
For the complete Interview
click here:
For a newer audio Interview
click here:
**The above Audio Interview can also be heard on these web sites: InsideScoopLive.com; ITunes!com;
BlogTalkRadio.com; ReadersView.com; and, thirty other podcast directories.
"This is a wonderful book, Dr. Sinor has put years and
years of research and her
own work into this."
---Juanita Watson, Host of Inside Scoop Live
What Experts Say About Gifts From The Child Within
“This is indeed a valuable self-help book and a tool for the Counselor, Hypnotherapist, Minister, Psychotherapist, or Clinician. I assure you, the world will look much brighter after you read this book.” --Lavona Stillman, PhD, CC, HT
“Barbara Sinor has written a book that will help the violated and traumatized child within to heal. Gifts From The Child Within helps guide survivors with repressed memories of trauma, as well as those with current memories of incest, through the healing process.” --Marilyn Van Derbur, Miss America 1958, Founder: Survivor’s United Network
“Barbara Sinor has bridged the gap for clients and therapists alike between the mere discovery of the inner child and the building of a true relationship with this most important being within. Gifts From The Child Within is an important and highly readable work.” --Rick Boyes, M. Coun, CHT, Author A Body To Die For
“Gifts From The Child Within is a wonderful book that takes the reader on a journey into the soul. Flowing and readable, this book is filled with stories, myths, information, and revelation.” --Marilyn Gordon, CHT, Author Healing is Remembering Who You Are
"Part of what makes recovery books useful for so many people is the array of diverse approaches offered in the self-help genre. In Gifts From the Child Within Dr. Sinor shares her own story and unique vantage point in exercises and affirmations that seek to rework, rewrite, and re-create past, hurtful experiences that may interfere with present-day living." --Nancy J. Napier, M.A., MFCC, Author, Recreating Yourself and Getting Through the Day
Excerpts
from Chapter 5 --"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall"
Spiritual Reflections
As stated earlier, self-awareness
is the giant first step in healing and recovery. Looking into that mirror
on the wall may be scary for it risks the possibility of discovering negative
traits in yourself. Whatever you discover, see it clearly then instruct
yourself to become aware of all the positive qualities you possess and
acknowledge and appreciate them. True self-acceptance can come only after
you have looked yourself straight in the mirror. Self-acceptance and appreciation
is the important second step to establishing self-esteem and a positive
self-image.
The steps then to a healthy self-concept and self-esteem are:
1. Self-awareness
2. Self-acceptance and self-appreciation
3. Taking responsibility for your actions, and
4. Acting responsible toward others
These guidelines, and a desire to grow in this
spiritual manner, invite a healthy self-image, as well as, a sense of
spiritual growth perhaps not yet experienced. Author, doctor, spiritual
seeker and teacher M. Scott Peck once stated that spiritual growth is
the evolution of consciousness. He spoke of how over ninety percent of
our actions are driven by our unconscious or subconscious mind and to
be fully conscious of who we are we must bring our conscious and unconscious
minds into synchronism. Peck goes on to say that he feels so much of our
beingness is unconscious because this is where we are connected to our
God. "We no longer need to search outside ourselves for God. We need
not strive to become "one with God" because we already are.
We no longer need to assume our evolutionary goal is to ultimately "unite"
with God. Our true-Self is God. What then is our spiritual goal? The goal
is to be more like God while we are conscious." In other words, after
inner deliberation we can make conscious choices and decisions. This is
as close to God/Goddess/All That Is as we can get.
Excerpts
from Chapter 6 --"From Victim To Victory"
Victims No More
If you are a victim of childhood
abuse as I and my sisters were, you are a "survivor." Much has
been written about child abuse and the survivors of it. This is only the
beginning of the battle to enlighten those who are unaware while supporting
those who are choosing to inspire changes. Statistics show us that our
nation ranks high in the incidence of child abuse. This sad fact coupled
with our nation's heavy addiction to alcohol, medication, and drug use
clearly points to the imperative need for an in-depth look at our societal
profile.
We have all been victims in childhood. The important point to remember
and take action upon is how, as adults, we have the tools and the personal
power to choose to stop being victimized by others, or society. Let us
stand tall and proclaim we will be "victims no more" nor allow
our children to be. Let us heal ourselves and let go of our own victimhood,
thereby instructing society that we will not tolerate the abuse and mistreatment
of our children any longer.
Excerpts
from Chapter 11 --"The Present and Beyond"
Recovery Reflections
There is a familiar maxim which affirms, "Let go, let God." This affirmation directs us to release our problems and worries to a Higher Power. It conveys to us that there is an inner core, a Divine essence, that can help us if we but let go and allow that part to direct our concerns. Your child within is also a part of that inner core, the true-Self which can guide you to your past and into the future. Allow yourself to let go and let your child within lead you to who you are becoming. You have processed through much of your childhood pain, now is the time to let go and reach for the present and beyond…
Recently I heard one of my counseling mentor's state: "Spiritual disciplines teach us how to forgive others; psychotherapy teaches us how to forgive ourselves." This statement rang-true for me. It requires both an inward exploration of the self and a connection to the Self to journey through our lives with grace. The application of these two soul-searching practices can bring us peace to heal and move forward. This reflection by Vietnamese Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh relates how we can simultaneously employ these avenues in our daily life.
If a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important. If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.
ANNOUNCEMENT:
I Host a Q&A Discussion
group on "Heal via Love" for adult
women who have been sexually abused as a child. Click on the banner below to
visit the web site and register free. You do not need to have a copy of my
book to join.
Gifts From the Child Within
Barbara Sinor, Ph.D.
ISBN#s: 978-1932690-46-0 and 1-932690-46-8
242 pages, softcover $20.95 US
NOTE: This new Second Edition is now available in 2008. The new publisher is Loving Healing Press. The book is available in most bookstores, through the publisher's website and through Amazon.com and other online book stores. Ask your favorite bookstore to carry it for you!
Order:
Coming soon!~
"Inspirational Recovery Cards"
Below is a sneak preview of other card samples. There will be a total of fifty cards. If you have an interest in purchasing a deck of these inspirational cards, please email me at: drsinor@aol.com Write "Cards" in the subject box. I hope to have them available by the end of the year!
